Reflecting on New Year’s Resolutions
Every New Year’s Eve, I am reminded of years past when writing New Year’s resolutions was a dedicated habit I formed. For over forty years, each December 31st, I would sit down and thoughtfully write out lofty ideas such as:
- “Lose ten pounds.”
- “Start a new exercise program.”
- “Read one book a month.”
- “Cut out junk TV and social media.”
You’re probably wondering,
“Well, how’d that work out for you?” Not surprisingly, I’m not the only one in billions of people who casually write resolutions that are forgotten within a month.
Resolutions or Goals?
For me, January would come and go, and those resolutions would slowly fade. Eventually, I would revise them to fit my own selfish desires. For many, resolutions are short-lived and not specific enough to carry out.
Research shows that successful, high-achieving adults are more effective when they focus on setting
intentional goals. Writing and achieving goals involves:
- Planning: Creating a roadmap for success.
- Breaking goals into specifics: Making them manageable.
- Revising as necessary: Adapting to life changes.
- Accountability: Staying committed to progress.
Often, it’s the accountability piece where we struggle the most—sometimes, we are our own worst enemy.
The Role of a Coach in Goal Setting
As a board-certified life coach, I help clients think through and write out their goals while serving as their accountability partner. Sharing goals verbally with someone else gives them power and clarity. During coaching sessions, I ask questions to help clients break their goals into
SMART steps:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-targeted
Trying to achieve far-fetched milestones can lead to frustration, and leaving timelines open-ended can hinder progress. Goals should be reviewed
daily, weekly, and monthly, with regular check-ins to track progress.
Nothing gives me greater joy than seeing my clients achieve their goals! However, goals remain just words on paper unless we do the “heart work” necessary to achieve them.
Questions to Consider
If you’re feeling stuck, unsure of your purpose, or overwhelmed, it’s time to start writing goals and working with a coach. Begin by asking yourself these questions:
- What areas of my life are frustrating me or making me feel useless?
- What are my greatest challenges?
- What areas of my life feel out of control or chaotic?
- What relationships in my life are suffering or nonexistent?
- Why do my partner and I always argue?
- Why do I procrastinate about everything?
- What am I most passionate about in my life?
- What are my greatest weaknesses?
- Do I struggle with setting and keeping healthy boundaries?
- What do I do for self-care (physically, emotionally, spiritually)?
- Why am I in so much pain after the loss I have faced?
- What do I want to do when I grow up?
Taking the Next Step
Once you’ve answered these questions honestly and written them down, it’s time to create actionable goals. Working with a coach can help you:
- Define clear steps to achieve your goals.
- Stay accountable and motivated.
- Celebrate your successes along the way.
Coaching vs. Counseling
Not sure whether you need counseling or coaching? Here’s the difference:
- Counseling: Focuses on diagnosing and healing from past experiences.
- Coaching: Focuses on setting and achieving future goals.
Certified coaches equip you with tools for success and accountability, making the process less intimidating for some (and yes, many men prefer the term “coach” to “counselor”).
Let’s Work Together
If you need support on boosting that
self esteem, relationship issues, grief, life purpose, or goal setting, I would love to help you succeed. Let’s work together to ensure you live a life of abundance!
